I’ve written two short pieces that are abominations. They both lack story structure and academic reasoning. They can not be taken seriously in any situation or any part of its contents. But….
I did it for a good cause.
There’s a debate going on that’s separating two types of writers out there. Both of them want the same thing though:to be published and recognized among their respective readers. Yet, they don’t understand each other (as far as I know). So I’ll be their common enemy: the writer of the two abomination pieces.
If creative writing followed academic rules:
A poorly written generic story to illustrate the effects of research writing principles on creative writing through a third person narrative
(Title translation: The Weird Tales of Bob)
As the evil clown (King, 1986) got closer, Bob brought out his wand (Rowling, 1997) and zapped the clown into a different dimension before the clown started laughing. The sudden appearance of the wand will be discussed in subsequent chapters with Bob’s back story. Bob was irritated on how short his mission was and decided he might go for his part time job of doing weird calculations. Maybe he’d visit his alternative world (Murakami, 1985) while he was there. It seemed like it was the most practical thing to do after getting rid of the singing red haired evil clown (Wallace, 1990; King, 1986). It was practical since the author of this story strongly believes that after you ‘send away’ such a being, it is psychologically imperative, according to common knowledge, to unwind and relax. There are multiple ways a hero can do this and general search on Tv tropes will show readers the possibilities.
Sadly, Bob couldn’t get back to work because he was on probation regarding his “becoming-a-real-vampire” spell used on one of his sparkling co-workers (Meyer, 2005). His co-worker had suffered severe burns when he took a sunny walk in the park with his girlfriend. Instead, Bob had to attend an appointment with the psychologist as part of his evaluation.
Bob’s day was getting worse and the author theorized this story would not succeed based on the hypotheses/plot points. This was due to the following reasons: (1) Bob expected a battle with the clown (King, 1986) and instead this author gave the readers a deus ex machina fight (2) the story has ignored several novel principles (Mittelmark & Newman, 2009; Maass, 2011) and (3) no one in their right mind would read this.
This returns the reader to the initial hypothesis/plot points of the story where it was stated with Bob in a meaningless inner monologue at the start of the prologue:
H1: This generic example of creative and academic writing will make any reader immediately close the tab of this blog,
H2: If any of my supervisors read this, the author of this story suspects the supervisors will (a) have a good laugh or (b) question the author’s sanity.
If academic writing followed creative writing rules:
The Face behind the Theory-Mask
(Title translation: A quantitative test on the importance of the Distinctiveness Principle/Motivator in work place identities)
Bob Distinctive knew they had his life in their hands. Every conceivable scenario ran through his head as he paced around the marble hallway. If he failed this round of SPSS tests, he would become an outcast until he passed a round of even harsher tests. Yet, if he passed it would be the first step in obtaining a nearly complete golden Partial-Truth-Mask. Even though a golden Partial-Truth-Mask meant so much more scrutiny and oh so many more tests, Bob knew he could pass them and get the respect he deserved.
Bob paused in front of the large wooden door. Inside the meeting of the 1000 vivas were his superiors discussing his fate. He forced a small smile behind his Test-Mask to try to calm himself. After months of toiling through the tests, the results could be so easily analyzed using the power of the SPSS runes. If only things were that fast and easy he thought.
“Distinctive,” a voice called as the door creaked open. “Meet us midnight, you are to continue your tests…”
“Silence!” A hand emerged from the darkness, “The results could not be refuted. But at this point, you had indirect support thanks to your conceptual framework spells, you used many references in its composition…You will face harsher tests Mr. Bob Distinctive. Much harder…” As the door closed, John triumphantly removed his mask. It didn’t matter if there was no direct support. They could not refute him.
He was another step towards his dream…