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Pseudo Pornos, Lusty Undergrads and a bad Tv show: The unofficial tale of Sex and the City

Once a upon a time, when I was a wee undergrad, I wanted to watch a funny show. This was in the dark ages before the Big Bang Theory brought us hope and light.

Of finding funny tv-show

On finding funny TV-show

All my friends told me about this one series I should watch.

“Hey you should watch Sex and the City!” One said with glee. The other jumped in and agreed.

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I was hesitant by the name and wondered what kind of game they were playing. After all, these were my friends, they watched Dexter and other shows we all liked. If Game of Thrones had been aired, we’d all be rejoicing how Viserys got his golden hair.

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“Dear friends,” I asked, “it does not sound like something I’d watch.”

“OH!” the other jumped in. “For it is! It is about the stereotypes women have to deal with, ignore the title, that’s part of the issue,” she said with a mischievous smile.

I was convinced at that point and figured I should give it a try. They love Dexter, I kept telling myself.

I couldn't help bringing in two of my favorite references

I couldn’t help bringing in two of my favorite references

They lent me the first DVD and said the beginning was poor.

“But that is to be expected, for this was their pilot!” I nodded at my friend. Some shows need to get their ground before coming around to great rating expectations.

“How many episodes shall I watch then?” I questioned examining the DVD. I had a feeling I should throw it away, but I thought maybe it was just my dismay at the title.

“Three, or five, and then you’ll be hooked! It won’t be long before you ask for another box set!”

So I went to my dorm and ordered pizza, while I waited, I decided to watch and hope for a laugh.

I sat and watched and wondered why, the first scenes were erotica not story at all. It’s probably just for ratings.

After two episodes, I got distracted.

Eating was more important

The pizza was delicious

After the third episode, I was downright uncomfortable.

According to the laws of the internet and Vamp from Metal Gear, at any moment someone will walk in

According to the laws of the internet and Vamp from Metal Gear, at any moment someone will walk in…

I managed my escape from the horrendous show, by playing dead in case Sarah Jessica Parker became the Ring girl.

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The next day I went to my friends and returned the DVD.

“Did you like it???” They asked with hope in their voices.

“There’s video stores, there’s movies, and there’s books. But if you wish to continue lying to yourselves, just rely on one place where no one can judge you for watching, there’s always dear old HBO, or YouTube. Hell just type in on Google!”

I learned something that day as my friends pleaded me to torture myself through another two episodes.

Yes, we know Sex sells. But it can never replace character development, plot and have a better story for audiences. Sex is overused and often undermined now that we have to take it a bit ‘extreme’ to get it noticed. Or more importantly, people to watch.

‘Tis the end of my sad tale. About being lied to about series which discussed several issues.

Instead I got fooled into watching a porno with the dark lighting making it erotica and with dialogue making it a story.


Lies to breakdown before writing about Adult characters

Dear Ma,

Over the past few years, I discovered you lied to me about many things but certain LIES stood out from the rest.

Those lies are much worse than the Santa Claus incident and Tooth Fairy stunt you pulled off years ago. I have organized these terrible, horrendous lies into a short list:

1. Adults are mature: Ma, you gave me an impression that all adults (regardless of sex) acted like these people:
Goliath      Carter_StargateSG1

When I stop hearing young women arguing how people’s lack of fashion sense is a bigger issue than the current financial crisis and when I stop hearing young men boasting how they ‘own’ companies in different countries or exaggerating any of their accomplishments, I might re-consider my position.

They’re young you say? Not fully mature? Wait, this isn’t a level up gauge bar like my Final Fantasy games!

It is?

Okay! Then how about when they become parents? Ma, when was the last time you heard another parent showing off their spawn? Hell, when was the last time another adult boasted about their accomplishments to everyone?

Yeah thought so.

2. Adults don’t get jealous:

Seriously? Ma, I have a database of issues I’d like to go through. They are also alphabetical for your convenience!

We can start we B, from Beauty to Bonuses? Or maybe you’d prefer E, start off with Education to extra-curricular activities (the one you immediately thought of and the more ‘sporty’ one…wait that can be misinterpreted). Or S? From…*wink wink nudge nudge* to Spouses or how about Success? C, Children. Who has smarter/better spawn? Oh, already mentioned that.

3. Work hard and you’ll get what you want: I work very hard in procrastinating while doing papers but I still end up doing them! Yet, when I don’t procrastinate and work to write epic stories to dazzle my audiences, I end up writing nothing.

4. As you grow older, you’ll become more humble:

Have you ever seen how masters’ students act after they graduate? Hell, have you ever seen someone act when they get their first ‘official’ job?

Not old enough?

Ma, do you remember the last family reunion?! It was like watching a bunch of high schoolers who somehow became the product of a deadly concoction of teen fangirls gossiping about anyone in sight and jersey shore boys flexing their financial muscles sprinkled with cultural pressures and expectations.

Okay, okay, yes Ma that was mean. I take it back. I’m sorry.

Well, the last family reunion was more like-

Gladiator

This.

How could you, Ma? How could you?

As an amateur writer I have a sworn duty to accurately portray human nature! No matter what!


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